German Potato Salad

I hate mayonnaise.  I mean really truly hate it.  You know that show Fear Factor?   I have never actually watched it as it is far too gross but I have heard that the contestants eat things like bugs, worms and other creepy crawlers.  There are many things on there that I would eat before I’d eat mayonnaise.  Okay, that’s probably a lie as I wouldn’t eat those either but they are as equally disgusting to me as mayonnaise.

In fact, now that I think of it, my mayo-phobia might be at the root of my potluck terror.  I cannot stand potlucks.  I’m not talking about a handful of friends at one house - I can take that.  I’m talking about hundreds of people bringing dishes and setting them out and you are just supposed to eat them.  EAT them without knowing what is IN them.  How do people do that?  And don’t get me started on where they came from.  What if there were cats on the counter?  Or a cute three year old who was handed the spatula to lick the brownie batter off of and then when his mom turned her back, he stuck that same spatula back in the baking dish full of batter waiting to go into the oven?  What if that happened?  Or, horror of horrors, what if what you think you’re biting into is some sour cream (aka manna from heaven) based sauce and what you actually get is some mayonnaise based product from the dark side?  Let me tell you what happens if you’re me.  You start to gag.  And want to die.  Now because you’re me, you cannot and will not do it with quiet dignity.   A scene will ensue and you will try to explain that it’s the mayonnaise and that you just really hate it.  A lot.  Yet no one will understand.  They will think you are dramatic and perhaps crazy.  They will feel sorry for your husband and assume that you’ve had too much to drink.  But I digress.

This evening I made German potato salad.  Not a speck of mayonnaise (seriously if I have to type that one more time in this post, I may faint) in this salad and that, my friends, makes it a winner.  Now I have to be honest here.  For some reason, Mr. Dinner Bell claims he didn’t like it.  In fact he was horrified that I was putting it on the blog.  Okay, horrified is too strong.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen him horrified about anything.  But he did kind of shrug his shoulders and make a “humph” sound under his breath.  Regardless, I like it and will make it again.  But you know what I’ll do?  I’ll say it’s something else.  And he’ll eat it and love it and I’ll come back here and tell you all about it, okay?  Oh and while I’m in full disclosure mode, the little dinner bells didn’t eat it, either.  I didn’t even attempt to put it on their plates as they surely would have run screaming from the table wondering why I’d desecrated a perfectly good half-pound of bacon in such a horrid way.

German Potato Salad

2 lbs small red potatoes, scrubbed and cut into eighths
2 tbs kosher salt
1/2 lb bacon
3 garlic cloves, chopped
1/2 cup chopped red onion
3/4 cup water
1/4 cup white wine vinegar
1 tbs sugar
1 tbs coarse mustard
2-3 tbs fresh dill, chopped

1. Put potatoes and salt in large pot of boiling water and boil about 10-15 minutes until potatoes are just done but not mushy.

2. While potatoes are boiling, chop bacon and fry until crisp in large skillet.  Remove bacon and add onion to drippings and cook until onion is translucent, about 5 minutes.  Add garlic and cook one minute more.

3. Whisk together water, vinegar, mustard and sugar and add to onion mixture in skillet.  Bring to a boil and cook for 5 minutes.  Add bacon back into skillet and remove from heat.

4. When potatoes are cooked, drain and rinse with cold water.   Add dressing and toss gently.  Season to taste with salt and pepper and add fresh dill.